What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why are Republicans so afraid of a strong leader like Vice President Kamala Harris? Are they worried if she becomes President she will make them look stupid?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

All you need to know about 2025 MLB Draft Combine - MLB.com

Make Nazis afraid again!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why does a college girl cover her face with a scarf in Bangalore?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why is digital marketing important?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why do women need to wear bras, in spite of the fact that the breasts are an integral part of the body?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Are evolutionists giving evolution a bad name by claiming humans started off as shrews?

TEXT:

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How much of lounge pianists playing is from repertoire, and how much is improvised?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Which album is your favorite that's now 50 years old (from 1975), and what's the best song on the album?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why are flat Earthers made fun of when they seemingly don't exist? I have only met one flat Earther in 18 years.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

How did you know you weren't the narc?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!